


What are you after? Some kind of disaster

by sunsetmagnolia



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), All Time Low (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Rated teen for language mostly, boys doing brunch, not sure if luke and ashton are even mentioned lol oops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:15:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28587855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetmagnolia/pseuds/sunsetmagnolia
Summary: Five times Michael and Calum don't know they're on a date, and one time they do.OrFive times Jack and Alex double date with Michael and Calum, and one time the other two actually realize they've been dating this whole time.Malum as told by Jalex.
Relationships: Jack Barakat/Alex Gaskarth, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood
Comments: 6
Kudos: 26





	What are you after? Some kind of disaster

**Author's Note:**

> I don't want to mislead you, this is like 75% Jalex and 25% Malum. Also don't ask me when this is supposed to take place. Ideally right after sgfg/future hearts? but also Alex has his farm? idk time is fake.
> 
> Thanks to [Bella](https://clumsyclifford.tumblr.com/) and [Sam](https://tirednotflirting.tumblr.com/) for being my cheerleaders I love you so much

“Little weird for them to just invite themselves along on our brunch date,” Jack will say later that night, after the soundchecks, after the show when it’s just him and Alex in the back lounge of the bus. Jack will inevitably end up with Alex’s head in his lap, running his fingers through his hair because he can never resist the familiar motion. Alex will tiredly say something about them still learning how to be in a relationship on tour since they’re obviously new at this. Jack will wonder why Alex insists on making himself sleepy like this instead of in a bunk where he can fall asleep without having to get up again, but it’s useless to question some of his quirks. It’ll all be routine and peaceful. But they’re not there yet.

Calum stumbles out of the 5sos bus looking like he’s half asleep and Michael looks like he never slept at all. Jack is waiting for Alex outside the venue, Uber already pulled up on his phone. He takes one look at Calum and snorts a laugh. “No offense, you look like shit.”

“Well some of us like to go to bed before 4 am on a day when we have to be up early for soundcheck.” Calum grumbles, glaring at Michael.

“Didn’t you guys soundcheck first?” Jack asks. “Take a nap.”

“But I’m hungry,” Michael says simply in response to Calum frowning at him.

“Join the club,” Jack says. “If Alex would get out here, we could go eat.”

“Where are you going?”

“He scoured Yelp last night looking for a good brunch place so we’re gonna go have some mimosas and hopefully some waffles.”

“That sounds good.” Michael leans on Calum a little.

“Take him with you,” Calum says, shoving Michael away but not complaining when Michael just falls right back against his side.

“Uh, we weren’t—”

“Sorry I’m late!” Alex yells, letting the venue door shut with a bang behind him as he jogs over. “Morning, boys.”

“Can we join you guys for brunch?” Michael asks.

Alex turns to Jack, clearly as confused as he is as to why they’re inviting themselves along on their brunch date. Jack looks back at them first, and then it clicks when he sees the way Calum has an arm wrapped around Michael’s waist, and Michael is leaning his head on Calum’s shoulder. Jack turns back to Alex.

Alex must see it too, because of course he does. He sighs. “Jack’s calling an Uber, so you two have five seconds, no pun intended, to change into real clothes.”

Michael smiles and pulls Calum into their bus.

“What happened to brunch dates being just for us?” Jack asks.

Alex shrugs. “You saw how cute they looked.”

“Not as cute as us.”

Alex winds his arm around Jack’s neck and gives him a kiss on the cheek. “Of course not, we’re tough competition.”

* * *

Next week’s brunch date comes around and this time Alex is the one waiting for Jack. He goes from sitting in the bus to sitting on the ground to sitting on a case by the door that hasn’t been loaded in yet. He’s swinging his legs back and forth waiting for Jack to magically appear, glad he’s outside because the arhythmic banging of his heels against the metal case would drive anyone crazy. It would drive him crazy if anyone else was doing it.

He looks up when Michael comes bounding out of the 5sos bus asking where Jack is. Alex tells him Jack is still in their greenroom, and then moments later, Calum pokes his head out of the bus and looks around before walking slowly up to Alex. “Have you seen Michael?”

“Yeah, he went inside looking for Jack.”

“Okay good.” Calum sounds genuinely relieved, and Alex’s interest is piqued. “Can I ask you something? Hypothetically?”

_Whatever Calum says next is bound to be gold_. “Yeah, go for it.”

“What would you do, in theory, if you had a crush on one of your bandmates, but you didn’t want to ruin the band?”

Alex can practically hear the record scratch in his head. He almost asks, _aren’t you dating Michael?_ And then stops himself. Okay, so they’re not officially together yet. He can’t blame them for not knowing how to go from best friends to being in a relationship, god knows it took him and Jack long enough to get there. Which brings him back to: “In theory?”

Calum nods warily. It’s obvious he doesn’t want to talk about the _Michael_ part of it, if the way he can barely stand still is any sign.

“It doesn’t have to ruin the band. I mean, look at us.” Calum does look at him, and he looks confused. “Even if you argue or whatever, just talk it out. Your band is only ruined if you let it get ruined.” As he says it, he feels like it’s a little hypocritical of him to give advice on something he’s never experienced. He and Jack didn’t exactly consider the band’s longevity before they tumbled into whatever the beginning of their relationship was that resulted in them not knowing when their anniversary is. It’s mostly the strength of their relationship, sure, but also partly pure luck that they didn’t ruin the band in the process. Regardless, Calum is nodding thoughtfully. Alex is gonna have to mention to Jack that their double date last week was not, in fact, a double date.

The door is propped open, so they can hear Jack talking to Michael as the other two make their way outside. “Thanks,” Calum says and darts back onto his bus.

Jack walks out and leans his head on Alex’s arm, one elbow on the case as he points Michael in the direction of his bus. “Tell him I invited him.”

“Invited who where?” Alex asks when Michael is gone.

“The boys to brunch.”

Alex tilts his head down to look at Jack. “What happened to wanting time alone?”

“I thought you said they were too cute to leave out.”

“Did you know they’re not together yet?” Alex asks, and watches as the realization sets in on Jack’s face.

“That… makes a lot of sense.”

“Why?”

“I dunno, Michael said Calum is avoiding him and I assumed they were having a fight or something, but they never acted like it.”

“So why are we inviting them on our date?”

Jack shrugs. “I thought if anyone could make them talk to each other, it’s us.”

“Ah, yes, us. The experts on how to date your friends.”

“That’s us.” Jack wraps his arms around Alex’s waist and looks up at him. “We should get business cards made.”

* * *

Jack isn’t _trying_ to make these double dates a weekly thing, but after last week’s visible progress in that Michael spent half his set last night basically sharing Calum’s mic, he’s not exactly surprised when Michael catches him Wednesday morning as their crews are setting up the stage in the venue. Jack had woken up early to try and beat Rian to the shower, but not early enough. Rian still got there first. Which means Rian is sitting unassumingly on one of the greenroom sofas, nose in his phone, when Jack walks out of the bathroom. Jack is half dressed when he comes up with the idea, and right as the greenroom door opens, he presses his cold hands to the back of Rian’s neck.

Rian yelps and starts swinging at him but he jumps back just out of reach, doubled over with laughter.

“Alex says he’s leaving without you,” Michael says from the doorway.

“Yeah, Alex is leaving without you,” Rian repeats, rubbing at his neck. “You might wanna go before he finds a new date for brunch.”

“Fine, I’ll leave. You’ll never see me again. The band is breaking up. Until tonight.” Jack leans over to kiss the top of Rian’s head and then pulls his shirt on. Michael lets the door close. Jack gathers his phone and wallet and runs his hand through his hair one last time before leaving.

“You look fine, just go,” Rian says. Jack blows him a kiss over his shoulder.

Michael is hanging around the door as Jack walks out of the room and then follows him, at his heels like a lost puppy. “Oh, hey boy,” Jack says when he notices Michael isn’t leaving.

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Michael says.

“Sure.”

“I think I need advice.”

“You came to the right place,” Jack says, putting an arm around Michael’s shoulders. “Uncle Jack’s advice shop is open, free for a limited time.”

Michael laughs a little and then tenses up again. “Okay, well, Calum’s being weird.”

“Touring can be stressful, you don’t need me to tell you that,” Jack says seriously, lest Michael think he’s joking with his advice, precarious as it may be.

“Not that kind of weird.” Michael sighs. “Like the other day, he asked me who I’d kiss out of the band if I had to?”

“Perfectly normal band conversations, of course.” Jack is joking, but he’s also not, because he can’t count how many times they asked each other questions like that before he and Alex got together, or how any times he would say Zack just to watch Alex pretend not to get jealous. “You said Calum, right?”

“No, I said Luke, but like, as a joke, obviously. But he took it seriously and started saying if I like Luke so much I should just tell him. So I did, and Luke shoved me off his lap, which is how I got this bruise—”

Jack tries not to laugh when Michael starts to twist his arm around to show him said bruise, but they’re almost outside, and if he’s taking his big brother duties seriously… “Do you wanna come to brunch again? I’ll find a way to pull Alex away from the table so you and Calum can figure it out.”

“But what am I supposed to say? That I was kidding and I’d kiss him and not Luke?”

“Would you?”

Michael stops just short of the door. “Would I what?”

“Would you rather kiss Calum?”

Michael’s cheeks are adorably pink and if he had more time, Jack would tease him relentlessly about it. “Well, yeah,” Michael mumbles.

“Then tell him that.” Jack turns and pushes the door open that leads outside.

“You’re sure you don’t mind us being there?”

“No, we don’t mind, right?” Jack sidles up to Alex.

Alex looks up from his phone and blinks. “Right. Mind what?”

“Some extra boys at brunch,” Jack says. Michael goes back inside to find Calum.

“What’s happening this time?” Alex asks. “Has he figured out Calum likes him yet?”

“No, but I think he’s figured out he likes Calum.”

“He didn’t _know_ that? Are we running a dating service now?”

“Jack and Alex: love doctors. We can add that to our business cards.” Alex rolls his eyes and goes to pull his phone back out but Jack reaches for his hand first. “How about we do dinner alone instead? I may have seen stairs that said roof access.”

Alex smiles softly and squeezes his hand. “Only as long as you don’t get us locked out again.”

“That was one time!” Jack says, but Alex laughs and pulls him closer into a hug, pressing a kiss to his neck, and Jack knows they’re on the same page.

* * *

Three and a half weeks into tour, they’re at their fourth brunch and Alex has, so far, had three more short yet weirdly sweet conversations with Calum, who seems to be only one step ahead of Michael. It’s funny that Michael picked Jack to go to for advice, Alex thinks, considering they’re both giving advice based on the same shared relationship. It’s made him wonder if he and Jack are telling them the same things, because Jack seems to be more set on meddling – if it can even be called that – than Alex is. As illustrated by how they’re currently standing in the bathroom.

“Did he just say they’re going to the bathroom _together?_ ” he’d heard Calum ask as Jack pulled him away by the arm.

“What the fuck are we doing?” Alex asks once Jack has closed the door.

“I told Michael to tell Calum why he’s being weird before we get back or else I’d tell him myself.”

“Jesus, Jack why can’t we just tell them they’ve already basically been dating all tour? And probably have been for even longer?”

“We have to let them figure it out on their own! After all, no one told _us_.”

“I think a lot of people told us and we just didn’t listen.” Jack waves his hands dismissively, so Alex starts listing. “Zack and Rian both, our old manager definitely tried to tell us, I think your sister said something one time—”

“And that was all unsolicited.”

“We made out in Rian’s bunk one time just to piss him off, I think it was solicited.”

“Just because we deserved it doesn’t mean we asked.”

Alex sighs. “So now not only are we not on a brunch date, we’re not even _at_ brunch.”

Jack tilts his head a little. “We’re not on a date?”

Alex knows that Jack knows what he’s doing looking at him like that, but fuck if it doesn’t work. He feels bad even thinking of saying no. “We’re in the _bathroom_.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you can think of more fun ways to waste time in a bathroom,” Jack says, tugging on his arm to pull him closer. Alex lets him get in exactly one kiss before pushing him away with a grin he can’t hold back.

“I’m saying you owe me a lot more than a drink after this.”

* * *

Brunch number five is surprisingly uneventful so far. Jack did wonder what happened to Michael and Calum before they left, but he’s trying not to let himself get distracted. After all, he can’t deny Alex’s contented smile as they sip the last of their coffee, savoring the time more than the drinks.

“Almost feels like being home,” Alex says. “Too quiet for tour.”

“I thought you liked the quiet.”

“Maybe I was getting used to having the other boys around.”

“Maybe they’re _busy_ , if you know what I mean.” Jack makes a suggestive face that makes Alex giggle before lightly kicking him under the table.

“Shut up, they’re children.”

“They’re adults.”

“Barely.”

“Fine,” Jack concedes easily. “But they might have figured it out finally.”

“We can hope.” Alex’s phone buzzes where it’s face down on the table, followed by Jack’s. “Or not.”

Jack is about to tell him not to worry about it, but Alex is already looking, so he does too. The message from Michael reads “ _I think I fucked up_ ” and Jack can’t help but wonder how bad it could possibly be.

“Cal says Michael ran away,” Alex says, looking confusedly between his phone and Jack. “From what?”

“From him.”

“Yeah, I got that. What happened?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

“I guess that’s the end of brunch,” Alex says, putting his phone back on the table.

“We can stay if you want,” Jack says. “They’ll survive another hour or two.”

Alex leans back in his seat with an indiscernible grin. “What exactly did you tell Michael to do?”

“You’re implying this is my fault?”

“Well, considering your way of telling me you loved me the first time was to do it drunk off your ass and then forget about it the next day, I can only assume…”

“I have grown and matured since then, okay?” Jack points at Alex. “I can tell you I love you whenever I want.”

As predicted, Alex puts his elbows up on the table and hooks his finger with Jack’s. “You have,” he says sincerely. “But that doesn’t mean you never give bad advice.”

“All I said was that he should tell Calum he likes him. I told him he can’t tiptoe around it forever, and that it’s worth the risk.”

Alex hums. “Maybe your advice wasn’t bad.”

“What was your great advice then?”

“Basically the same as yours, except I told Calum if he never makes a move then he can’t expect Michael to either.”

“Guess he moved too suddenly.”

“I never thought of Michael as jumpy.”

“Maybe Calum is scary.”

“The boy is adorable, how could he be scary?”

“You used to be adorable and scary. Well, no, your _hair_ was scary.”

“Hey, you wanna talk about bad hair—”

They both look up when someone shows up at their table in a hurry. “Michael?” Alex says first.

“Sorry, I just ran, I mean, wait.” Michael is breathing heavily from running three blocks to the café they found for brunch. As he catches his breath, he looks at their fingers still linked across the table and then from Alex to Jack. “Are you… on a date?”

Jack and Alex exchange a confused look before turning back to Michael in sync. “Yeah?” Jack says slowly.

Alex lets go of Jack’s finger to rest his head on his fist. “So when Calum said you ran away, he meant it literally.”

Jack bites back a laugh, because Michael looks a mess between whatever made him run all the way there and apparently newly discovering that Jack and Alex are on a date. In fact, he’s pretty sure Michael has heard them call these brunches _dates_.

“What did Calum say?” Michael asks worriedly.

“That you ran away,” Alex says. “And here you are.”

“He didn’t say anything else?”

“You wanna sit?” Jack asks, but Alex stands up. “Or not?”

“Can’t avoid him forever,” Alex says to Michael. As usual, Alex is right.

“But, wait.” Michael turns to Jack. “When you told me you guarantee it’ll work out, you were basing it on… you?”

Jack glances at Alex, who’s frowning but also looks like he’s trying not to smile. “Pretty much?” Jack shrugs.

Alex picks up a glass of water that’s gone untouched on account of the coffee and mimosas and hands it to Michael. “Drink. Then you have to talk to him. Or else we will, and we can’t promise not to make you look dumb.” He smiles.

Michael takes the glass and takes a long sip, still looking mostly terrified at the prospect. “Can I go to the bathroom before I die?”

“You’re not gonna die,” Jack says, at the same time that Alex says, “Yes, but hurry.”

Michael puts the glass down on the table and slowly makes his way to the hall with the sign for the bathroom.

“You _guarantee_ it’ll work out, huh?” Alex says, keeping a mostly straight face. “So much for good advice.”

“Look, you can’t tell me they don’t remind you of us.” Alex shakes his head affectionately. Jack holds his arm out and Alex sits down beside him and tucks himself into Jack’s side. “And look where we are now. Having brunch on tour and mentoring the youth of tomorrow.”

Alex laughs. “Shut up. You’re a fucking sap.”

“Hey, you said you like sensitive boys.”

“Yeah, I like horses too but I wouldn’t want one telling all his horse friends to date each other with reckless abandon.”

“That’s cause your horses are prudes.”

“My horses could get dates if they wanted.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure Tino’s a player.”

“Tino is a distinguished gentleman, thank you.”

Neither of them realize Michael is back until he clears his throat and they both look up.

“Ah, the boy returns,” Jack says.

“Ready to die?” Alex asks, and Jack shoves him so far he almost falls off the bench seat.

* * *

There are three shows left of tour. Four days and they’ll be home. Alex is sitting next to Jack in another restaurant in another city, and he’s surprised to admit that he’s not annoyed that they’re not alone this time. To his credit, Jack asked him twice before they left if he was sure he didn’t want it to be just the two of them, but he can’t help that Calum and Michael’s drama has grown on him. Especially now that they’ve figured out that they’re on a date after all. Alex says as much, and Calum rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, no thanks to Michael.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I’m _sorry_ I ran away when you kissed me, okay? I just freaked out can you blame me?” Michael pouts until Calum smiles at him. They’re way too cute for their own good. Alex takes a bite of his pancakes and reaches his other hand over to squeeze Jack’s knee under the table, and Jack sets his hand over Alex’s.

Jack puts his glass back on the table and looks at the boys. “Can we talk about how neither of you knew we’re together when you literally came on dates with us?”

“I knew,” Calum says.

“No you didn’t,” Michael says.

Alex smiles, mostly to himself. “We didn’t try to hide it. I’m pretty sure we’ve kissed while you were around.”

Michael looks offended, which only makes Alex laugh. “Jack kisses a lot of people, how were we supposed to know you’re different?”

“Touché,” Alex says.

“I’m just so full of love,” Jack says, pretending to cry.

Michael and Calum laugh at Jack’s dramatics and Alex leans just far enough over that their shoulders touch. Four days and a few hours and they’ll be back at home, having dinner, just the two of them. They won’t sleep at normal times for at least a week, because coming off tour is as bad as jet lag. They’ll sleepily argue about who’s going to get up first to make coffee, and Jack will give in because he’s usually up earlier anyway. They’ll decompress on the west coast for a while before flying back east to the farm and the horses and everything else Alex has missed while touring, though it’s far from homesickness. All of that is waiting for them later, but for now they’re at brunch, together, as the moment stretches out like sunshine ahead of them.


End file.
